Henry the Accountant by Paul Kaplan

During the late seventies and early eighties, Paul Kaplan honed his musical skills at the famed Cornelia Street Songwriter's Exchange in Greenwich Village. Some of America's finest folksingers, such as Suzanne Vega, David Massengill, Shawn Colvin, and Jack Hardy met weekly to try out their latest creations on each other. Paul debuted Henry the Accountant at one of these sessions. It is a parody of the popular folk song, John Henry, which celebrates the contest between a hammer-wielding steel driver and a mechanical steam drill. David Massengill later recorded the Kaplan version on a Fast Folk Magazine release.

Some Paul Kaplan trivia: his middle name is "Henry."

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Henry the Accountant and other fine Paul Kaplan originals can be heard on his compilation, So I Could Get to You, available from:

Paul Kaplan
203 Heatherstone Rd.
Amherst, MA 01002

Henry the Accountant

Henry was an accountant.
He worked with a pencil in his hand.
If you had something you needed added up, then
Henry the Accountant was your man, Lord, Lord,
Henry the Accountant was your man.
Henry the Accountant was your man, Lord, Lord,
Henry the Accountant was your man.

When Henry was a little baby,
Sitting on his daddy's knee,
He picked up a crayon and a little piece of paper, and said
"Two plus one equals three," Lord, Lord,
"Two plus one equals three."
"Two plus one equals three," Lord, Lord,
"Two plus one equals three."

The man who bought the first calculator
He thought he was mighty fine.
He walked up to Henry with a sneer on his lip and said
"Your job is gonna be mine, Lord, Lord,
Your job is gonna be mine.
Your job is gonna be mine, Lord, Lord,
Your job is gonna be mine."

Henry stood up and drew his weapon,
He said, "A man isn't anything but a man."
"We'll have ourselves a race and I'll put you in your place or
I'll die with my pencil in my hand, Lord, Lord,
I'll die with my pencil in my hand.
I'll die with my pencil in my hand, Lord, Lord,
I'll die with my pencil in my hand."

So each man grabbed a fifty-pound ledger.
And Henry went to work with all his might.
Though his hand was getting cramped and his shirt was getting damp, still
He swore that he would not give up the fight, Lord, Lord,
He swore that he would not give up the fight.
He swore that he would not give up the fight, Lord, Lord,
He swore that he would not give up the fight.

After three long hours of battle
The man with the machine had moved ahead.
He had Henry beat 'til on the final sheet
Suddenly his batteries went dead, Lord, Lord.
Suddenly his batteries went dead.
Suddenly his batteries went dead, Lord, Lord.
Suddenly his batteries went dead.

So Henry beat that calculator.
Now his powers could never be denied.
But the terrible strain had been too much for his brain, so
He laid down his glasses and he died, Lord, Lord.
He laid down his glasses and he died.
He laid down his glasses and he died, Lord, Lord.
He laid down his glasses and he died.

So they buried Henry in the graveyard
With his trusty pencil and his pad.
And when their checks don't clear they always shed a tear
For the last human being who could add, Lord, Lord,
The last human being who could add.
He was the last human being who could add, Lord, Lord,
The last human being who could add.

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